Talented...

My Ex is THE most talented man in the sack I have ever met. His ability to "come in pieces" amazes me even almost 2 years later...

Holy.
Fuck.

Male Multiple O's are glorious.

Not only that but his cock... it fits me perfectly. Long, as thick as my wrist, and it has the most delicious bend to the left.

And when he whispers... "are you ready to cum?"..."I'm going to make you cum now..." and then.. HE DOES... it still catches me by surprise... he twists his hips exactly the right way...

Geeezus.

Tanya Stephens has more than one song which fits this man... maybe it's a Jamaican thing... but today, right now... I dedicate this one lol... ;)

I really need to stay away from him when I'm horny.
But its hard to feel too badly at the moment.. heh. right now I just feel... completely satisfied.
Yay me.

I should be dancing...

I just can't bring myself to deal with the douche bags at the bar today...

So here I am drinking a 10$ bottle of dodgy wine...
Cranking Katy Perrys ET and Ke$has Blow...
And ok.... Sir Mix A Lots Babys Got Back...
and tossing the idea of throwing on some cloths n going down lol...

But really.
If i have to deal with one more Jamaican trying to get me to touch his dick, telling me he has enough for me... or another... who is actually one of my favs just because he is so sure about himself he just tells me straight out I need to get over my ex and he is going to help me out...
"I'm going to come fuck you on Tuesday"
With the washboard stomach and what I've felt against my leg while dancing.. I'd maybe give him that shot it it weren't for that tiny detail of a wife n 2 kids lol... he does make me laugh though! And he dances well... even though he tries he is relatively "safe"... as safe as any.

Really though... they aren't interchangeable... and there is only one I really WANT...

UGH! I need more wine...

And maybe... some sex.
Wish the Ex wasn't working a double... It might be one of those nights...

Here is my #... can I get yours?

Soo.. POF... 
 

Being that I do not require a bag over my head to fuck, I can sting words together (though this prolly only matters to a few of the fish, the previous being the sole reason to engage me in conversation) Have a JOB, my own truck and my own home... and not CRAZY... I get a LOT of e-mail.


Much of it is from men whom I KNOW would never have the err.. cojones... to approach me in public. Not that I am all that n a sccop of bread puddin but... more that I give off a vibe. I think its the customer service bit inside me, personable but not personal. Unless the guy is a total idiot in his original e-mail I pretty much always reply, if not out of interest out of common courtesy. Usually my courtesy e-mail is pretty nice, thanks but no thanks and good luck in your search. ONCE in a while they mistake the courtesy mail for interest and I have to either be more direct or if the e-mail is amusing and catchy, and even though I am not interested in the photos posted you never know about what is really there... I don't photograph well myself. So I have been known to exchange a few witty e-mails with a few men I was not originally interested in... Really this has never progressed further than the e-mail and may be unfair of me to even let it go that far...



Recently I had one of these fish hunt me down... 


Yep.


I live in a small town. I have on the profile that I am in the hospitality industry. There are 2 resorts here very close together, we are owned by the same entity really. The guy had sent me a couple e-mails, knew some general info about me and decided I was worth a road trip.


I was at my desk and see an e-mail fly in... "Guy at FL looking for you. Said he was from a dating service, on his was to WB now.."  


WTF??


So I e-mail back.. "What guy?? Who??"


"No idea, didn't give a name"



"So you just told him where to find me?? Thanks!"



Short time later one of my F&B supers calls me from the back.. Uhh there is a guy out here lookin for you...



I was freaked. I had no idea who it was. The name drew a total blank.. why? cuz I wasn't interested! Tall, really skinny, slightly red-necky, harley ridin old white guy... yeah that sounds just like my type.



I gave him a quick tour of the hotel, this is that ha ha that is that.. he he thanks for comin... blah blah & yada yada.


At least 3 times he says... "I've been trying to get your number for a month, I gave you mine a couple times but never heard from you..."
 

Well gee! Thats cuz I was being COY and wanted you to stalk my ass at my place of business...in front of co-workers and employees... perfect! Mission accomplished.Thank you very much!

 
I ended the tour in my office which was prolly a bad idea, since it allowed him to grab one of my cards off my desk... AND for him to make himself comfy in my guest seat. I finally suggested we meet at the pizza place down the street so that I could finish what I was working on without feeling rude... 


I then called my daughter and told he she had BETTER call me with an emergency in precisely 20 minutes.


Somehow in those 20 minutes I did happen to let it drop that my LAST boyfriend was a Jamaican... lol If there is one thing old rednecky white guys don't like... hehe. Lucky for me he never called! woo hoo! 

Sometimes I just hate being right....

Perfectly lovely, 6 ft 2, attractive, reasonably intelligent... and then he says he wrote erotica. What does my dumb ass say?...

Oh cool send it to me, I know something about that.

Later that afternoon I got a txt telling me he had e-mailed a story to me... I was out with a friend at the time and I told him... ohh this is a mistake. It is going to suck I just know it...

Wow.

I couldn't even get through the first paragraph.

Now I keep getting txt's asking if I got it, did I like it... I feel like editing it and emailing it back. Would that be ok?

Writing is a talent, not everyone has it.

ON the flip side my other friend is interested in reading something I wrote... he wonders if I really know good erotica when I read it.

Silly, silly man.

My Quest Begins...

So here I am... back on the market for a new romance... I am 43, single again and testing the treacherous waters inhabited by plenty of fish.

I'm not sure of the quality of the fish but I'm hoping they wont all be throw backs. I have had some decent e-mails... plenty of dumb fish as well but... mm.

This being said I did have a fish date this weekend. Actually I had a date with this same fish last weekend, supposedly the fish was called out of town on business and so I kindly let him off the hook. Not giving it much thought really, no biggie. I understand work.

We talked all week, because he worked over the weekend he was supposedly taking a long weekend, he asked me out again for Friday night.

I decided to take Sat off myself, so I didn't have to worry about time or alcohol consumption, or... time. He started saying he might just spend the night (in a hotel) and maybe we could do something Sat also.  mm k.

On Wed he decided he was leaving early Thursday and inquired if I would like to do something that night.

Maybe he would stay 2 nights.

They he follows up a couple conversations with, "I hope I'm not scaring you away"... "I hope I'm not freaking you out."

Well lets see.. we have had a few good e-mails, some decent phone conversations, and now you want me to commit to 3 days with you? Uhh yeah too much.

I was unable to regardless, It was the end of the month and I had accounts to close, that's my story and I'm stickin to it. ;)

I stuck by the Friday night date and really I figured if it was ok and I didn't hate him by the end of it, some lunch before he left town might be ok.

Talked to him a couple times during the day, he was going to arrive early and wait for me at the bar.

Then I got off and he was on his way, would be here shortly.

Then he was only 30 minutes away, he had not ditched me.

and then nothing.

No answer. No txt. Whatever. lol

I went dancing... and had a good time actually.

Got a txt on Monday, "I'm embarrassed to have to apologise again, but I got a DUI on my way to see you"

Wow. Where to start...
Stat with him running late in the first place?
Him drinking before our date?

Isn't this EXACTLY the kind of man I need? "Derr.. I have a date who lives an hour away, I better drink heavily before I go to meet her for the first time, duhh"

or

He is a liar who made up a DUI to gloss over the "loss" of the weekend for the second time... because he is married or otherwise "taken"

or

He really is just one unlucky bastard :)...

well not THAT unlucky as much as stupid... was was still legally drunk.

Needless to say I did not reply to that txt.

Next please!

I want a guy.

I want a guy who is worth my time.

I want a guy who thinks I am worth their time.

I want him to have a nice ass, dimples would be cool too, but the ass is a must have.

He needs to be tall.He should have to bend a little to kiss me, and you should want to do that a lot.

Nice arms would be a plus as well, but God knows I look better with clothes, so I'm certainly not looking for perfection in all eyes, just mine.

I want him to be awesome in bed, as awesome as me, and even more awesome out of it.

I want a guy who doesnt lie. Open and honest, wow wht a concept, white lies to your boss, ex, kid, Mom, friend, barber, grocery clerk... whatever if you feel that need. But.. I would rather be hurt by honesty than a lie any day of the week.

I want him to be "young"... not like rob the cradle young, Hell no. But not in retirement either. Please dont look closer to my Dads age than mine. And worse yet.. think closer to my Dad's age than mine.

I want him to dance. To anything. 50 cent, take me to the candy shop... or something slow with no singing.

I want him to be prompt.

I need him to be funny, able to take teasing & sarcasm... and to think both are fun.

Again I need him to be awesome in bed. Really. and I dont want any of this performence anxiety bullshit. If we are that close that i'm going to have sex with you, you better not be anxious about a damn thing.

It doesnt have to be huge.. not tiny is good. Enough. Not too much.. not too little... juuuust... enough.

I want a guy with some class. But not so much your a snob.

I want a guy who wants to go places, and takes me with him.
The video store, the mall, Mexico, whatever. Just please know what a date is...
Bob Evans on date #2? Really?

I want a guy... whose phone I could touch... ooo... big one there.

I want a guy who drinks once in a while... with me.

And last... that sex thing.
Often.

:)